Super Mom and the Choice to Stay Home

There has been nothing more rewarding, challenging, fulfilling, than guiding, teaching, and nurturing a child. I always say my heart doubled, my patience tripled, and my ability to read and anticipate situations quadrupled.

When my husband and I met in college we knew within a month we wanted to be together forever. A year after we married, we welcomed our son Emmett into the world. Before this and during my pregnancy I was in a job I loved. I loved the people I worked with, the challenges I got, and I truly felt career fulfillment. I was then faced with a very difficult decision: stay home or return to work. I am incredibly grateful to have the option, I know many don't.

I decided I was going to throw myself fully into raising our son and giving him the strongest early foundation I could. When making the decision I researched the development of children in daycares. I looked at the benefits of children being at home with their mothers. The answer was clear to me, I would give myself fully to this little person, putting tradition work on hold, until he was ready for preschool.

I find it unfortunate that the term "stay at home mom" is looked at with simplicity or as nothing tangible to add to ones' character. It was frequently difficult, at times unpleasant, and challenged me. Early childhood education and development was something I soon found myself consumed by. Each day I made a lesson, guided to learn his interests, strengths, and make learning fun. Working on raising him to be a well-rounded, confident, kind person is a treasure.

I documented the things I did with him, art lessons, science, reading, all in hopes to inspire other parents to take responsibility in their children's education. Growing up in Oklahoma, a state frequently contending for last place in education, I learned I could not rely on just public education. Either parent help, or certainly later there is personal responsibility to seek knowledge.

By his third birthday he wished to have his birthday party at the local space museum. He knows each planet and their properties and often stumps adults with questions. I can only take credit of placing the information in front of him in an interesting way, each child has something particular they cling onto if given the chance. I feel proud of the foundation he has and believe he will now excel in an environment with other children.

Adults often comment on his vocabulary or are a bit taken back by his language. I think most children are sponges. Depending on how much a sponge is given to soak up is how full they will become. Children are curious, if you let them be. Noticing what they observe and are curious in gives you the material you need to keep the ball rolling. For example, if Emmett asks questions about the clouds or storms, we will talk about it in depth. More questions will arise, "what is electricity"? Well, that is when you get a balloon and rub it on your head, take them to the playground and after they go down the slide have them touch someone to feel the static shock. Making things silly, visual, and interesting will keep adding fuel onto the curious fire.

While I was staying home, I made a successful vintage company. I would go to markets and sell clothes, jewelry I made. I say this because I think it can be helpful to stay at home parents to have outlets. For me it unusually manifests as creative outlets, also being featured in an art gallery during this time. Nap times can be a way to turn inwards and learn more about yourself. I became much more invested in nutrition. Year by year I became more ambitious with my garden, having multiple beds and just about every type of crop. I was a freelance photographer, shooting concerts and people. I continued to challenge myself and learn while also pouring wisdom into my little one.

Not every parent's journey is the same. I know there are many external factors that may make someone not be able to give as much time. I think it is important to note, as long as you are giving it your all, count that as your victory.